A Lesson from the Spirit.

I am riding a bicycle along a country road on a clear, fine day. To my right is a stand of green trees, all even and beautiful.
"What do you want to see ahead? What are you reaching for?"
"I want to see something bright there, pleasant, happy."
But I can no longer ride as fast as I just did. Something is holding me back; I can barely turn the pedals, it’s getting harder and harder. It’s a cart of stones. And I asked,
"What is this cart of stones?"
"It is what holds you, what gnaws at you — the feeling of guilt toward yourself, toward others. These are unprocessed stones. As a heavy load they weigh more and more. But your cart does not stop you from moving."
"I can leave this cart here."
"You can. You can leave it on the road, but what will that give you?"
"I will be able to go away."
"Not for long."
"Why?"
"A new feeling of guilt will form inside you again, consuming and troubling your soul."
"Why?"
"You left this load of stones in the middle of the road. By doing so you will not let others pass, you closed the way, blocked it. Is that good or bad?"
"Probably bad."
"Right. But what if you do not abandon them and run away? What if you take these stones out of the cart one by one, look at each with direct eyes, understand and accept it, give that stone your cutting of forgiveness and understanding?
And you will see that these heavy shapeless boulders will turn into beautiful crystals — light, transparent crystals of true forgiveness. And by placing them along the road, they will be like small beacons, pointing the way for others. You will ride with ease, with the full understanding that your heavy stones will not bar anyone’s path, that your heavy stones have become transparent crystals that will become lighthouses for those who follow you. Having done so, you will not only find your true path but also show the way to those who come after you. Is that not the better decision?"
"Yes."
"So be it!"

I began to cry. And the Spirit said,
"Tears are not weakness. Tears are self-acceptance, they are the way to purification and accepting yourself."

I did as the Spirit told me. As the crystals poured out, they arranged themselves in neat rows like little lights on both sides of the road. And wherever a crystal fell, flowers grew beside it. And when the last crystal fell out of the cart — it dissolved, it disappeared.
The weight was gone; I felt lightness and a bright light at the end of the road, as if the sun had risen there, beyond the horizon.