Lesson from the Spirit

I see myself in a boat; the Spirit sits right at the bow. I sit at the oars, but I don't know how to row. The water is calm, but I'm afraid of it, a strange fear coming from nowhere.

"Would you prefer to be in my place?"
"I don't know how to row."
"You will learn, there's no trick to it."
"Why am I in this boat?"
"You are here to tame your fear. You are not afraid of the water; you are afraid of God's anger.
Whether the boat capsizes does not depend on how you row. But whether you begin to row determines your path. So what are you afraid of?"

I say nothing; I take the oars and begin to row. At that moment colossal energies pass through me, energies of absolute freedom, flight, the soul's soaring. I don't care how I row — I just do it, I enjoy it. Every movement... waves of energy surge with each stroke.

"Where are we going?"
"Where do you want to go?"
"I go in trust."

A bright light from the sun — as if a luminous path appears on the water.

"What are you waiting for? Go."

I start to row; the energies are entirely different, everything slows, my movements slow as if in weightlessness. But inside there is calm, bliss.

"You are being cleansed by God's light."

Many particles of light. They lift me and I find myself covered in that pollen. Then everything turned off.

"What was that?"
"You were cleansed, your soul, even your thoughts were rearranged into a new order.
This is what happens to everyone who trusts."

My head begins to hurt badly.

"Why does my head hurt?"
"Your mind is being cleansed. The inner world is being reassembled to start anew.
It's like one great symphony, where each instrument plays its part, but only together do they form a wondrous melody."

At that moment my headache stopped; it all passed.

"Even your secret fears have gone now.
You must not be afraid to row once you are already in the boat. What remains for you: to go ashore or to row forward?
On that shore, everything is known to you, everything familiar. Here, in these waters, you must trust the one Spirit, otherwise it cannot be. The choice is yours.
Do not fear the water — both water and land were made for your good. Go in trust, without fears or doubts, in full resolve and with understanding of the importance of the path you have chosen, in complete trust with the Spirit who leads you. So be it."